Some time last month we bumped into the guy who runs a pet holiday home with his Mum. We'd left Hyde with them last December. The following ensues:
Better half: (waving) Hey! How are you? (we couldn't remember his name)
Guy: (waving awkwardly, blinking, confused look) Heyyyy...
Better half: How are you? (again) Remember us...?
Guy: (Squinting - as if that will help him remember) Ummm...
Mummy Me: We're Hyde's parents...? Remember?
Guy: (DING!) HEYYYYYY!!! :D How ARE you guys??? How's Hyde?
Moral of the story:
Good parenting may define who your children become one day. But believe your kids are already good and they will begin to define you.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Silhouette
There are numerous advantages to staying in shape (yes yes, "round" is a shape too). If you look in the mirror and you're not happy with what you see, then it's time to take action. We have to have realistic goals in place - being "thin" or "slim" is not a healthy goal. But to be well with your BMI, and to have good hair and skin that are the result of healthy food habits is. A firm body is just a plus but that's a personal choice.
For 15 years I've been hearing from my Mum (who is, ahem, well-rounded herself) that I should not put on weight as "heaviness" runs in our family (she means big breasts, butt n thighs). Sadly, out of sheer laziness on my part, I ACCEPTED this to mean that I could never take charge of my body as these are family traits and would be with me all the days of my life. So right through my college years I would look forlornly at girls with slim legs at how AWESOME they looked in skirts, leggings and slim jeans, whereas I always had to go for jeans with a boot cut just to compensate for the width of my hips n thighs. Also, GETTING a pair that would fit just right was a nightmare. I always had to go for big sizes to accommodate my thighs and have this huge gaping void at my comparatively smaller waist.
Here's why getting into shape is important to me NOW, more than ever.
1. I'm 30
2. I have aches and pains in various places and that really scares me. The vitality of my youth now lies only in my personality (ha ha) but having it diminish in a physical sense has killed my confidence and makes me quite vulnerable.
3. The back ache I had last week combined with the neck sprain over the weekend was quite a wake up call - I could not carry my baby. I am only getting older and in the years to come, the number of physical activities I will be able to do with my children will greatly depend on how I maintain myself now.
4. I hate having to tuck my tummy into my jeans :D
5. I JUST wanna look good again. No, not hot or sexy, just healthy n wholesome.
6. I am a firm believer that exercise actually increases the endorphins in your body, giving you a more positive outlook on life. I have personally experienced it so I know it's not just some random health tidbit. I need these "happy hormones" more than ever because having a baby can give you as many lows as the highs - in fact, the baby is the only high, everything ELSE: the tireless unappreciated domestic work, lack of social life, the incredible loneliness you feel as you slowly grow apart from your spouse as each of you do your own thing to make a good life for your child - these are some of the lows. As much as you owe it to your child to be healthy, you owe it even more to YOURSELF.
Here's why I am telling the world about it:
I am TERRIFIED I won't live up to this challenge. This goal has been on EVERY New Year's Resolutions for as long as I can remember writing New Year's Resolutions.
The excuses we make and the counter-excuse:
1. I have a baby, twin babies, babies with special needs, a dog, to look after. If something happens to you, like severe back pain, who will look after them?
2. I have no time. Many Mummy blogs will tell you to forget the laundry and dishes and just put your feet up and enjoy that coffee. For the first 3 to 4 months after the baby that's fine. After that you gotta accept that THAT moment RIGHT there, that coffee moment, the random glance at a Cosmo, the 5 minutes you spend for a Facebook update - that TIME might just get you the right pair of jeans.
I'm all out of excuses :D - these are my main ones hee hee. Now my fingers have gotten some awesome exercise. Wish me luck!
For 15 years I've been hearing from my Mum (who is, ahem, well-rounded herself) that I should not put on weight as "heaviness" runs in our family (she means big breasts, butt n thighs). Sadly, out of sheer laziness on my part, I ACCEPTED this to mean that I could never take charge of my body as these are family traits and would be with me all the days of my life. So right through my college years I would look forlornly at girls with slim legs at how AWESOME they looked in skirts, leggings and slim jeans, whereas I always had to go for jeans with a boot cut just to compensate for the width of my hips n thighs. Also, GETTING a pair that would fit just right was a nightmare. I always had to go for big sizes to accommodate my thighs and have this huge gaping void at my comparatively smaller waist.
Here's why getting into shape is important to me NOW, more than ever.
1. I'm 30
2. I have aches and pains in various places and that really scares me. The vitality of my youth now lies only in my personality (ha ha) but having it diminish in a physical sense has killed my confidence and makes me quite vulnerable.
3. The back ache I had last week combined with the neck sprain over the weekend was quite a wake up call - I could not carry my baby. I am only getting older and in the years to come, the number of physical activities I will be able to do with my children will greatly depend on how I maintain myself now.
4. I hate having to tuck my tummy into my jeans :D
5. I JUST wanna look good again. No, not hot or sexy, just healthy n wholesome.
6. I am a firm believer that exercise actually increases the endorphins in your body, giving you a more positive outlook on life. I have personally experienced it so I know it's not just some random health tidbit. I need these "happy hormones" more than ever because having a baby can give you as many lows as the highs - in fact, the baby is the only high, everything ELSE: the tireless unappreciated domestic work, lack of social life, the incredible loneliness you feel as you slowly grow apart from your spouse as each of you do your own thing to make a good life for your child - these are some of the lows. As much as you owe it to your child to be healthy, you owe it even more to YOURSELF.
Here's why I am telling the world about it:
I am TERRIFIED I won't live up to this challenge. This goal has been on EVERY New Year's Resolutions for as long as I can remember writing New Year's Resolutions.
The excuses we make and the counter-excuse:
1. I have a baby, twin babies, babies with special needs, a dog, to look after. If something happens to you, like severe back pain, who will look after them?
2. I have no time. Many Mummy blogs will tell you to forget the laundry and dishes and just put your feet up and enjoy that coffee. For the first 3 to 4 months after the baby that's fine. After that you gotta accept that THAT moment RIGHT there, that coffee moment, the random glance at a Cosmo, the 5 minutes you spend for a Facebook update - that TIME might just get you the right pair of jeans.
I'm all out of excuses :D - these are my main ones hee hee. Now my fingers have gotten some awesome exercise. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
The Out-of-Body Experience
No, this is not a post about walking around the house without a bra (though when breast feeding it IS rather tempting!).
Being a stay-at-home mum is tough. You can do all the physical labour of the domestic life - entirely out of love too, not just cos you have to, and yet, feel like you're NEVER quite doing enough unless you're making some money for your child's future. Why do I feel so unappreciated? What do I want? A medal from my child? My body is confined within these four walls but my mind is in a million different places - all of them involve me making something out of my life and making a LOT of money so my child may never lack for anything. This is the true Out-of-Body Experience. It overwhelms you. My little one is barely 6 months old and I told myself I would stay at home till he is AT LEAST a year old. As hard as it is going to be to leave him in the care of strangers, I don't wanna stare blankly at him 18 years hence when he asks about college tuition.
And now...I have severe back pain from all the stress. I can't even carry him without wincing in pain.
Being a stay-at-home mum is tough. You can do all the physical labour of the domestic life - entirely out of love too, not just cos you have to, and yet, feel like you're NEVER quite doing enough unless you're making some money for your child's future. Why do I feel so unappreciated? What do I want? A medal from my child? My body is confined within these four walls but my mind is in a million different places - all of them involve me making something out of my life and making a LOT of money so my child may never lack for anything. This is the true Out-of-Body Experience. It overwhelms you. My little one is barely 6 months old and I told myself I would stay at home till he is AT LEAST a year old. As hard as it is going to be to leave him in the care of strangers, I don't wanna stare blankly at him 18 years hence when he asks about college tuition.
And now...I have severe back pain from all the stress. I can't even carry him without wincing in pain.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Take Diversion
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ~ Joyce Maynard
I love quotes - it doesn't matter who says it so much as what is actually being said! I have never heard of half the people I often quote but that doesn't mean what they say doesn't ring a bell.
This quote in particular rings true on various levels - my father often said he had deviated from the paths his own father took. I wonder how many of his paths I will stick to for my little one, how many deviations I will make and most importantly, how many NEW paths I will create on my own. I only know that I cannot expect to NOT have any regrets. I have plenty of regrets for having stuck to tried and tested formulas. Some worked and some didn't. By that same logic, I must accept that something new and untested could possibly work too! I HAVE to believe it will!
I love quotes - it doesn't matter who says it so much as what is actually being said! I have never heard of half the people I often quote but that doesn't mean what they say doesn't ring a bell.
This quote in particular rings true on various levels - my father often said he had deviated from the paths his own father took. I wonder how many of his paths I will stick to for my little one, how many deviations I will make and most importantly, how many NEW paths I will create on my own. I only know that I cannot expect to NOT have any regrets. I have plenty of regrets for having stuck to tried and tested formulas. Some worked and some didn't. By that same logic, I must accept that something new and untested could possibly work too! I HAVE to believe it will!
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Baby Steps
My son makes me want to be a better person. I've said this to many a hundred times since he was born - but with the starting of this new year, new decade (I turn 30 next month) I am genuinely taking SOME effort instead of just talking about it.
The biggest task that lies ahead of me as a mother is, at times, to not forget that I am a wife, a daughter (in-law), a sister (in-law), a friend, an INDIVIDUAL! The reason why I should not forget this is because I can (very easily) completely lose myself in my son - that is not healthy for either of us. I don't feel I overly obsess about him but I am already seeing a repetition of many mistakes my from own past. I have all these dreams of what he should become - and then immediately correct myself by saying I should focus on what HIS dreams are. I need a balanced relationship with everyone in my life, especially my husband, if I want my child to grow up a healthy and happy individual.
I had a love marriage - but it isn't any easier than an arranged one. I love my husband - but I already feel we are moving down different paths in our lives. I do not want to criticize - I do that a LOT and I am good at it. I grew up around criticism and I have inflicted enough on my husband in the short two years of our marriage that he is too scared to take any decision about our lives fearing my wrath. I am a crazy person. I need to talk things out constantly to know that we are on the same page. My husband avoids ALL serious talk. He would rather assume we are on the same page than talk about it and risk a fight. He HATES arguments - because he never wins. I have the gift of the gab m told - but really, it's more of a curse. I don't know when to stop. I say too much. Then I become psycho and say things I don't even mean or deeply regret. But I have also heard, if you didn't truly MEAN something, you wouldn't SAY it - and this scares me even more. I am carrying so much baggage from my past and I feel as though I might inflict this torture on my own child if I do not see a therapist soon and get some help.
On a more positive note: the mere fact that I can FINALLY share this on my blog is a good sign that I am on my way to sort out my issues. I must have written similar posts a hundred times but never got around to publishing it because I always felt my personal issues should remain what it is - PERSONAL. But getting a glimpse of my weaknesses only to hide them away again has done NOTHING for me so far. I have extremely high (sometimes unrealistic) expectations of my loved ones - but rather than lowering them, I choose to adjust them according to what is and isn't important, and according to how MUCH I can give back to others by meeting their expectations of ME.
I can't say I'm taking ALL this effort for my baby. I am doing this for myself. I should have done it a LONG time ago. It's just that now I have to calculate what I might risk losing. I don't want my baby to be a casualty of war. There are so many other battles I have to fight without fighting those who are already on my side.
The biggest task that lies ahead of me as a mother is, at times, to not forget that I am a wife, a daughter (in-law), a sister (in-law), a friend, an INDIVIDUAL! The reason why I should not forget this is because I can (very easily) completely lose myself in my son - that is not healthy for either of us. I don't feel I overly obsess about him but I am already seeing a repetition of many mistakes my from own past. I have all these dreams of what he should become - and then immediately correct myself by saying I should focus on what HIS dreams are. I need a balanced relationship with everyone in my life, especially my husband, if I want my child to grow up a healthy and happy individual.
I had a love marriage - but it isn't any easier than an arranged one. I love my husband - but I already feel we are moving down different paths in our lives. I do not want to criticize - I do that a LOT and I am good at it. I grew up around criticism and I have inflicted enough on my husband in the short two years of our marriage that he is too scared to take any decision about our lives fearing my wrath. I am a crazy person. I need to talk things out constantly to know that we are on the same page. My husband avoids ALL serious talk. He would rather assume we are on the same page than talk about it and risk a fight. He HATES arguments - because he never wins. I have the gift of the gab m told - but really, it's more of a curse. I don't know when to stop. I say too much. Then I become psycho and say things I don't even mean or deeply regret. But I have also heard, if you didn't truly MEAN something, you wouldn't SAY it - and this scares me even more. I am carrying so much baggage from my past and I feel as though I might inflict this torture on my own child if I do not see a therapist soon and get some help.
On a more positive note: the mere fact that I can FINALLY share this on my blog is a good sign that I am on my way to sort out my issues. I must have written similar posts a hundred times but never got around to publishing it because I always felt my personal issues should remain what it is - PERSONAL. But getting a glimpse of my weaknesses only to hide them away again has done NOTHING for me so far. I have extremely high (sometimes unrealistic) expectations of my loved ones - but rather than lowering them, I choose to adjust them according to what is and isn't important, and according to how MUCH I can give back to others by meeting their expectations of ME.
I can't say I'm taking ALL this effort for my baby. I am doing this for myself. I should have done it a LONG time ago. It's just that now I have to calculate what I might risk losing. I don't want my baby to be a casualty of war. There are so many other battles I have to fight without fighting those who are already on my side.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
New Year, New Beginnings
Wow! These Christmas holidays have been revealing in more ways than one! For starters - I KNOW I am not gonna be this maniac Mum - I pretty much covered travelling four states with my little one in various modes of transport. Yes of COURSE I was stressed about it - but it was the only way I could spend time with MY folks. By God's grace we reached our destinations safely and comfortably.
MMR got to meet three of his great-grandparents on his travels - for this I feel truly blessed. Meanwhile - I got criticism from all quarters - my husband's family always felt I was not careful enough with Junior (he's too thin, cover him up, watch the bed he's doing somersaults) whereas MY family thought I was TOO obsessive (really - you CAN take a leak without your son you know)! I took this to mean that I was doing alright so far :D
I was really anxious about being back in Bangalore and having to manage hubby, house, hound and my little one ALL by myself. I worried for naught! Again, there is a great Force at work here. We are doing just great - and it is with the knowledge and confidence that God guides us every step of the way!
MMR got to meet three of his great-grandparents on his travels - for this I feel truly blessed. Meanwhile - I got criticism from all quarters - my husband's family always felt I was not careful enough with Junior (he's too thin, cover him up, watch the bed he's doing somersaults) whereas MY family thought I was TOO obsessive (really - you CAN take a leak without your son you know)! I took this to mean that I was doing alright so far :D
I was really anxious about being back in Bangalore and having to manage hubby, house, hound and my little one ALL by myself. I worried for naught! Again, there is a great Force at work here. We are doing just great - and it is with the knowledge and confidence that God guides us every step of the way!
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